Nursing My Wounds

Heads up! This is a post that you may not want to read if you don't want to a) hear the pains of nursing or b) don't want to think of me that way :).

I have been thinking about writing this post for a while now, especially after Betsy posted her adventures of nursing on her blog. Also, I wanted to post it for several of my friends who are expecting (because when I was expecting I desperately loved to read about the personal stories that mothers were encountering or encountered).

So here it goes, here is my horrible, at times humorous because it was so horrible, and somewhat fulfilling story about nursing:

Immediately after Jayden was born I nursed her. Unfortunately (get used to that word), I immediately latched her on improperly and let her nurse for a long time... which resulted in really injuring me. By the time the lactation specialist had the time to come help, the damage had already been done.

So, I bit the bullet and continued to nurse in excruciating pain for the next month. I was in so much pain that I would literally cry while nursing Jayden. After reading every book about nursing that I owned (2 to 3), spending hours on the Internet, and using all sorts of strange sticky-heated-alien looking products that I had bought... I finally sought out an appointment with a lactation specialist.

The lactation specialist said that Jayden looked great, which meant that she was eating well. She also said that Jayden's latch looked great, which meant that I shouldn't be in pain any more. Finally, she decided that I probably just had some sort of topical infection and told me to buy neosporin, monistat, and preparation H; mix it all together and rub it on me after each feeding. I was immediately concerned that Jayden shouldn't be consuming those ingredients. She told me that it would be just fine in such small doses, but I didn't believe her :).

SO, I went about trying to look for another solution and went and saw a more natural path lactation specialist whose primary career is as a midwife. She took one look at Jayden and me, said the same things as the previous lacation specialist, but this time suggested that I use essential oils to fix the infection that she called "thrush." I was okay with using the essential oils and decided to give it a try.

A couple of weeks later the pain was still horrible, but some of the sores that I had were healed. Still, because the pain was still there and Jayden was fussy, we went to see her doctor to ask about the thrush. Her doctor looked at her and told us that she definitely didn't have thrush. He said that thrush is really obvious because her mouth would look like she was eating cottage cheese... and Jayden's mouth really didn't look like that. So, he sent us off to my doctor. My doctor didn't think that we had it either, but gave me a prescription just in case.

When I went to fulfill my prescription, my insurance wouldn't allow it to be filled unless the prescription was accompanied by a form filled out by the doctor due to the significant side effects that my liver could encounter after taking the drug (delightful... emphasis on the sarcasm). SO, after sharing everything with Shaun, we decided that it would be best to not take the drug.

From that point on, I just decided to deal with the pain. Once I went back to work and started predominantly expressing my milk, the pain really started to subside. I kept thinking that I should have started expressing my milk earlier. Jayden would nursing in the morning and evenings and would take a bottle of expressed milk the rest of the day.

THEN, it was last Monday. I started feeling sick with the shakes, a fever, and loss of appetite. All of these symptoms appeared with a lovely red welt on my right chest. Right away I knew it was mastitis. So, I tried every at home remedy that I had researched but it just kept getting worse and worse. Finally, when I couldn't even go to work for two days (they sent me home one of those days), I called the doctor. They heard my symptoms over the phone, confirmed it was mastitis, and sent me a prescription to pick up at my pharmacy.

Unfortunately, the prescription that they had sent me had a big warning label on it that said "do not take if you are allergic to penicillin" which I definitely am. So, after a discussion with my doctor and the pharmacist, they told me to take the drug because there was only a "slight" chance that I could have another allergic reaction. With my track record of being lucky enough to always fulfill the "slight chance" area, I was more than a little concerned about taking the drug. BUT, they talked me into it and I started taking it. It was definitely a miracle drug because I felt SO much better in just a couple of hours of taking the drug.

Even though the antibiotic was supposed to be okay to nurse with, I was still a little concerned and did my own research. As I was doing my research, I decided to bottle feed Jayden some saved up expressed milk. She was okay with the change but not thrilled with it.

After I figured out the best way to nurse where she would only be ingesting trace amounts of the antibiotic, I resumed nursing. That first time nursing again was eye opening, Jayden kept sighing in contentment. She was SO happy. I wish that I could find a way to better describe it. It was then that I knew that everything that I had gone through to keep nursing was well worth it. Besides the obvious health benefits from nursing, Jayden still emotionally relies on nursing and I am definitely not ready to take that away from her yet.

So, that's my story, and I truly feel like it probably isn't even over yet. BUT, I do feel rejuvenated in my commitment towards nursing her until she is at least 6 months.

On a complete side note, there are some other health issues that I have also been dealing with (that I am not ready to share in my blog) and prayers about that would be nice.